I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
