It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
