Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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