Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
they need to just BURY HIM!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
