Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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