I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
