ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
