Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
