Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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