just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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