O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
