yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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