no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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