We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
