Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
