Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
