Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize