if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
