elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
