her vagine was all disorganized.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
