I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
