We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
