U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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