how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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