yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
