You really coming over, don't trick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
