Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
