when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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