oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
