i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
