I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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