I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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