that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm at about main and main street
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
