You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
