Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
