put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
as a side note pls kill me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
