why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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