We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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