K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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