you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
