Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
