No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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