Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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