It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
