i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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