I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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