We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
