You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
