Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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