I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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