respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
