im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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