we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
